Past Fire
by Amor-deliria-nervosa-7491
Summary: Read this story to find out who it is. It follows someone's life from before their aptitude test. I hope everyone likes it. Dedicated to AvelieTrace because I absolutely love her, and cuz she gave me a story title.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own Divergent. That's Veronica Roth's. Dedicated to AvelieTrace cuz she gave me a story title. Luv her with all my heart. 3**

It's then that I get the tattoo on my back. It's the symbol of Dauntless, stretched across my entire back, with just a little bit peaking out under my left armpit.

I also get a cartilage piercing, and a nose stud. Also my cheek.

I don't know why I do this. To prove I'm Dauntless, truly. At heart. Other kids my age have already gotten several piercings, tattoos, nose jobs, even alterations to allow a piercing inside their body. Not me.

My mother told me she wouldn't allow me to get any piercings or tattoos until I was fifteen. Then I could have the entire year before the Choosing Ceremony to look Dauntless. I don't know why she's told me this. She was Dauntless born. She had gotten her first tattoo at the age of twelve, when Dauntless laws allow their members to get tattoos, and her first piercing the next year. When she completed initiation, she got the symbol of Dauntless across her back, and a small piercing on her face that bore the Dauntless symbol.

You see, my mother is a leader of the Dauntless. She was ranked first in initiation, and chose to become political. Though I am no different than any other Dauntless teenager my age, all of us having learned how to fight from an older Dauntless member that runs training, getting tattoos and piercings at age 12 and 13, joking around, running in the pit, sneaking into the kitchen, my mother is uptight. Sometimes I like to joke that she was originally a Stiff. Stiff is a slang word for Abnegation. They're selfless people, uptight, following the rules. My faction doesn't hate them, but we do avoid them sometimes.

My mother has told me countless times that it takes bravery to do some selfless acts, like push someone out of harm's way to protect them, like she did one night during training to prevent someone from committing suicide. I have stopped calling her a Stiff, but I do use it with my friends, making jokes about them, mostly.

That day, my sixteenth birthday, I get the tattoo of Dauntless across my back, flames all around, and three piercings. When it's over, my best friend, Kayla, says, "It's a miracle your mother even caved in about this shit." I laugh.

"Yeah." I laugh, "sometimes I like to think she's a Stiff." All my other friends who are standing there laugh along with me. "But you know, she's originally Dauntless, and she got this shit right when she was allowed to!" Kayla nods.

"Sorry your mom's so uptight about this crap." she says with no sympathy. Sometimes I like to think Kayla's fearless. She's not afraid to stand up for herself, she was running along the paths of the Pit before she was four years old, and she got her first tattoo before her twelfth birthday.

"Yeah, Gabby. Your mom is so weird sometimes." pipes up my other friend, Stella. I laugh and walk with them to dinner. I look at my feet as I walk, letting the others wonder what dinner will be tonight. They sometimes talk about random shit like that, useless stuff.

I'm the last one to turn sixteen. In a few weeks, we'll have our aptitude tests that will tell us which of the factions we belong in. I'm not worried. No matter what I get, I'm going to choose Dauntless. Even if I get an Abnegation test result.

"Gabs," says Kayla, and she pulls me aside. "You okay?" the others keep on walking to dinner. I don't answer, and try to keep on walking, but Kayla grabs my shoulders with a steely grip.

"You haven't been acting yourself lately, you know. Like something's bothering you. Is it the aptitude tests?" I shake my head. I don't care about the aptitude tests.

"Then what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Are you freaking blind? Can't you see I'm fine?" I blurt out, and immediately regret the words. They come out too fast for me to stop them. Sometimes I think I could be in Candor, for the way I act.

Kayla looks down at her combat boots, clicking the toes together, color rushing into her face. She may act fearless, but she is human. She can be insulted like the rest of us.

"C'mon, biatch," I say lightly. "Let's go to dinner." Kayla looks over my shoulder at the dining hall, and nods. She guides me to it, holding my hand.

"Sorry," I say shortly. "I shouldn't have said that." Kayla turns to me, a wicked grin adorning her face.

"That's alright," she says, "we all need a little knock on the head sometimes." Something crashes behind us. I turn back to the source of the noise. What the hell?

"Kayla?" I say. I swivel back to face the dining hall, but Kayla's gone. "Kayla?" Someone covers my eyes with a piece of cloth. "What the fuck?"

"Shutup," someone whispers in my ear. I scream and buckle, trying to elbow whoever it is in the stomach or whatever, but my elbow only finds air. They spin me a dozen times until I can't stand upright. I feel dizzy in a few seconds, and begin to scream. "I thought I told you to shutup!" says the voice. They punch me on the arm hard.

They lead me somewhere. I try to listen hard to my surroundings, but I am so dizzy I can't focus. Is the Pit on my right? My left? In front of me? In back of me? I can't tell. All I can tell is that we're going somewhere. Any second, they might kill me, or knock me unconscious. Any second, or they might—

"SURPRISE!" the blindfold is ripped from my eyes to reveal the dining hall and every member of Dauntless screaming and shouting. There are party and birthday decorations covering every inch of available space and people wearing party hats. There's a bean bag to replace every chair, but a massive one with decorations on it sits at the table where the cake is. I know it's mine. I smile to myself.

I turn to my captor—Kayla— and gasp at her in awe. "How did you do this?"

"We convinced your mom to let us do it. Not every member of Dauntless is here, but everyone who loves you is here…" she trains off for a second, grinning from ear to ear, "which is basically all of Dauntless. The chef made this cake and your favorite dinner for you. Meatloaf."

I crush her in a hug. "I love you!" Kayla hugs me fiercely. When we release each other, she escorts me to my table.

"Every table is a different activity." she explains. "This one is for eating, that one is for card games, that one is to do an activity over the Pit, that one is to have a small paintball fight in the training room, that one is an eating contest, that one is a relay race in the fear landscape room, that one is an ice cream swimming pool, and that one is laughing gas." Kayla gives me a wicked grin. "You have to eat first. The activity with the Pit is last, and the laughing gas is second to last. The others you can do in a random order."

I laugh hysterically, one that would match that of one under the influence of laughing gas. First, I eat as little as I can, because some of the activities include eating.

I do the relay race in the landscape room next, with me and Kayla as captains of our separate teams (I win, of course,). It's a combo of craziness mixed with a little sanity. First you have to do ten rounds with a hula hoop that is on fire without burning yourself to the point of no return; then someone dumps a bucket of stuff that makes you really sticky all over and you have to walk through a huge wad of gum without getting stuck; then you have to tightrope walk and not fall onto large (fake) spikes; and the last thing is the birthday girl having to slap your hand. My team only wins because I choose to ignore Kayla's team's outstretched hands until I have slapped at least four of my teammates' hands before they even finish the tightrope walk.

Next I do the paintball fight in the training room, which of course I win with Kayla at my side. Team black against team white and team white loses. What a shame. When you're in Dauntless and you're on the white team there's really no chance for you.

Next I do the eating contest back in the dining hall, and one of my best friends, Karter, wins the hotdog contest. I win the soda drinking contest, and Kayla, surprisingly, wins the all-you-can-eat food contest with combo hotdogs, sodas, even a few insects, and of course, a few massive cheeseburgers. Thankfully, we both throw up before we head over to the ice cream pool so our stomachs are empty for the ice cream.

Before I can leave the dining hall, Kayla drags me to the laughing gas table. She gives me the largest injection, and I laugh so hard that tears are streaming from my eyes. I can't stop thinking about funny things. Afterwards, I am still bursting into laughter.

When we reach the rec room of Dauntless headquarters, which I didn't even think existed, I'm totally met with a surprise. The swimming pool has been totally wiped clean of any water and washed down of all the chlorine and filled completely with ice cream. Only in Dauntless, I tell you.

I strip down to my bra and underwear, and dive in. It's a mocha cookie crumble combo brownie fudge combo cookie dough with extra strawberry syrup and whipped cream topped everywhere.

I go smoothly through the whipped cream and eat my way to the delicious ice cream mix. I start to eat it. It's amazing. As soon as I've had my fair share of ice cream delicacy, I shower and put my clothes back on, and head to the Pit.

When I get there, some sort of complicated rope thing has been set out at the top of the Pit, so Kayla and I climb to the top.

A couple of guys are setting up the harness and the rope. The harness is connected to the middle of the metal rope. It looks like when whoever's going jumps off the ledge, they're going to swing back and forth on it. Maybe crash into the side of the Pit. But no, I can see people on the other side, prepared to push people back and forth. I feel a grin stretching across my face. Now this is what Dauntless looks like.

"Alright," says one of the guys. I recognize him as my cousin, Paul. "Now, who wants to go first? The birthday girl goes last!"

"I'll go!" Kayla shouts. She runs up to them and throws herself into the harness. She jumps off the ledge of the Pit and swings back and forth, the people on the other side pushing her back and forth. How she's going to get down is a different story.

Paul swings a rope above his head, then he throws it to the rope holding Kayla up. She knots it on the rope and Paul pulls her back to the side of the Pit. They tie the rope to a huge bolt buried in the ground as Kayla is unstrapped from the harness.

The line dwindles as people begin to go. When it's my turn, I jump into the harness, I'm so excited. Paul locks me in and gives me a huge hug. "You sure you're ready, Gabs?"

I look at my friends, my cousins, everyone in Dauntless. "As ready as I'll ever be." I say confidently.

Just as I'm about to jump off, someone calls, "Wait!" Paul grabs the rope and hauls me back to the Pit and unhooks me.

It's my mother. She's running towards me. "What?" I say angrily.

"We have to talk about something." I take off the harness angrily and follow her to a corridor off the Pit, wishing I wasn't the daughter of a Dauntless leader.

**A/N: Can you guess who it is? Find out next time…**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, I know that most of you have probably read Allegiant, and this isn't going to be following that story line of her background. It's going to be a lot different. It's going to be how I imagine it in my head. So, yeah.**

"What is it?" I growl, following my mother down an empty corridor.

She takes my hand, a worried look in her eyes. "I saw your pre-aptitude test results. I know you're Divergent."

I look at my mother. Of course she would know. She's a leader of the Dauntless. "And?"

"It's not safe to be Divergent in Dauntless," she says. "You need to leave,"

It's not the first time my mother has said something shocking. But it is the first time I freak. "_Leave_?" I demand. "I can't _leave _Dauntless. It's where I belong!"

"I know, sweetie," she says gently. "It's going to be hard. But you have to go somewhere it's safe,"

"What do you mean, safe? Am I what, going to be persecuted? In Dauntless? You wouldn't do that!"

"I wouldn't," she says, "but the others would. You have to leave sweetie, and go somewhere safer." she avoids looking at my eyes. "I only want the best for you."

I stare at her. I have nothing more to say. "Well, if I can't stay here, where the hell do you suggest I go? What place do you think is safe?"

"Not Candor," my mother says immediately. "You'll have to tell everyone there. Certainly not."

"Yeah, I was sort of expecting that." I snap. My mother gives me a look.

"Not Erudite, either. Their leader is the one killing you all,"

"You mean there are more people like me? Divergent?"

"Of course," my mother smiles at me. "You're special, my dear girl,"

"Well…that leaves Amity and…"

"Abnegation," my mother says firmly, wrinkling her nose a little bit. "It'll be hard to see my daughter choose something over than Dauntless,"

"Well, maybe _my _daughter or son will choose Dauntless. That'd be something."

"Well, you're sixteen now. Let's worry about a wedding later," my mother says, grinning widely, stretching the lip piercings she has. She swivels around and moves from the hallway, leaving me thinking about two major decisions. I guess I'll just have to wait for the aptitude test. Two weeks. I can last that long.

I go back to my room to crash early. As the only daughter of a Dauntless leader that's young enough to live with their parent, I pass no one through the Leaders' Quarters. All the other leaders are extremely old, except for this one guy named Max. He completed initiation last year and is now a leader. I don't see him anywhere.

It's two weeks till my aptitude test. I expect that my mother will cover up for me about my Divergence until then. After that, once I choose Amity or Abnegation, their leaders will not harm me. Candor I'm not so sure about. It could be a bit dangerous. But I must wait until then to figure out where I belong.

I climb into bed in my oversized room and think of Kayla would react to this. She wouldn't want me to do it. She'd tell me to blow my mother off. _Oh, she's probably being paranoid, Gabs. Don't listen to her! Listen, even if you _are _Divergent, what do you think she's going to do? Let you die? That's bananas! Bullshit! _The thing is, my mother told me Divergence is dangerous. And I usually trust my mother.

But the influence that Kayla leaves…_Stay in Dauntless…_

_ Shut up, _I think.

One week has flown by too quickly since my sixteenth birthday. And I have decided to take out the piercing in my cheek. If I'm to choose Amity or Abnegation, I can't appear like a Dauntless. They wouldn't like that.

But I'm not exactly ready to take out the piercing in my nose. I'm keeping it until the Choosing Ceremony.

The week of the aptitude tests is as normal as ever. I don't know what I was expecting. Some weird pre-thing to it. Like, an orientation. Whatever I thought was going to happen, it's different. Everything's the same. Well, except for how I view other people.

For the first time in my life, I finally see Kayla and Stella and my other friends through different eyes. I think Kayla's a bitch. She's confident and cool and collected, and brave, of course, but she's much different than I expected her to be. She's really mean to other kids, like the Amity or the Abnegation, or even the Erudite. Not the Candor. She does, however, mutter under her breath, "Jerks," and glares at them every once in a while.

Stella, I can see, is frivolous and shallow, not caring about anyone but herself. She comes up with lame jokes every day about the other factions, and though I hollowly laugh back, I find myself thinking that she's just a pansycake. Stupid and stupider, the rest get. Maybe my mother was right. It _would _be a good thing to leave Dauntless. Maybe some peace would be nice.

The next few days, my mother keeps a close eye on me at dinner. Sometimes she requests that I eat dinner at our home. Being a leader of Dauntless, she has one of the chefs come up and cook dinner for us. I feel a little uncomfortable that he's doing this for us. It's much too kind.

She makes me stay in our home every night leading up to the aptitude test. My father is gone. Dead. I don't know what happened to him. My sister stayed in Dauntless but she failed initiation and became factionless. My family is broken.

And yet, my mother knows this. It's going to be hard to have a life without her family when I leave Dauntless. But she still cares for my safety. I admire her bravery.

"Not bravery," my mother says as we sit down the night before the aptitude test.

"Then what is it?" I ask her, my tone even and steady.

She doesn't answer. The chef sets down the steaming pot of sausage swimming in sauce and rice. And Dauntless cake, of course.

She nods to the chef and he leaves our apartment. "What are you thinking about?" my mother says as I bring my fork back and forth through the mixture of sausage and rice and sauce.

Death. Abandonment. Factionless. The aptitude test. Dauntless. Erudite. Amity. Candor. Abnegation. "Nothing." I say.

"Liar," my mother says, grinning.

"You're thinking about something, aren't you? About Dad?" I prompt. The smile leaves her face instantly. If she wasn't thinking about Dad before, she's definitely thinking about him now.

"I think about him all the time," we spend the rest of dinner in silence. I don't remember the next morning.

I remember all my classes, then lunch, and now the aptitude tests. Someone leads me down a hall to a room that has mirrors for doors. I take a deep breath. Will I choose to abandon my family?

I walk into the room that has mirrors for doors and wonder what my reflection is like because.

I.

Can't.

Think.

**A/N: So who's ready for the aptitude test? Um…I might have a little trouble writing the next chapter, with the aptitude test and all, but I promise I'll think of something. Don't worry I'm good at creativeness. Oh yeah, AVELIE TRACE MUST REVIEW THIS CHAPTER RIGHT NOW. AND DO NOT DENY MY CREATIVENESS YOU KNOW I GOT IT, BIATCH! As I was saying,…oh yeah! End of chapter. Next to come soon. I hope.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Hello," says the Amity woman who is administering the test. She has a dark complexion and has bright green eyes that look kind. She is wearing a floor length yellow tunic with her hair swept back in braids. She gently touches my arm to guide me to the chair. I shy away from her touch, embarrassed.

"Come on, dear," she says kindly. "Sit down and get comfortable. My name is Penelope." My hands shake as she starts attaching wires and electrodes to my forehead. I can't do this. I'm terrified of what it will tell me. She starts to attach another wire, but I catch her hand to stop it. She looks at me and frowns.

"I know who you are, dear. You're Quinn Pooler's daughter, aren't you? Gabriella?" I feel my face pale, but I nod. She smiles. Sometimes the Amity are too peaceful it's almost irritating. I don't think I'd be Amity. The Dauntless are all about action, and the Amity are too passive. I care too much about taking action. That leaves…

"Drink this, please." she says, handing me a vial of clear liquid.

"What is this?" I ask her, my eyes wide and terrified.

"You just have to trust me." she says. The Amity aren't typically known to be honest. They can lie to you. But this is only the aptitude test. Why would she be lying? "I promise it won't hurt." She looks over her shoulder, as if she expects to be heard. "I was Candor once. I can keep a secret." Penelope smiles again, as if she hadn't said anything. She closes the vial in my trembling hand.

I lock eyes with her and swallow the vial. I close my eyes. Darkness.

* * *

When I open my eyes, I'm standing back in the cafeteria. The tables are still set up, and at first I think the shades are drawn over the windows, then I realize it's snowing thickly outside.

Two baskets appear. A knife and a wedge of cheese. Something behind me says, "Choose," I look behind me, but there's nothing. I shrug shakily and approach the knife. Like a true Dauntless. As soon as the knife is gripped in my sweaty hand, the baskets disappear and a door creaks open. My eyes, alert and watchful, spot a huge dog trotting into the cafeteria. I lower myself slightly.

As it approaches me, it seems to sense that the knife is something dangerous. It jumps at me, and I bring the knife up, closing my eyes. I feel something wet splatter my hands and face. When I open my eyes, the dog is laying on the floor, and it is not moving.

I blink. I just killed a living creature. When I blink again, a little girl in a white dress appears. She spots the dog lying on the ground, and yells, "Puppy!" She starts to barrel towards the dead dog, then slows down. "Doggy dead?" She looks at me with the knife in my hand. "You kill doggy?" I hear a creak above me. The light fixture about to drop. I open my mouth to warn the little girl, but it is too late.

I don't think at all: I just jump, and push her out of the way, and I don't care where she lands, as long as it's not under a light fixture that could mean her death. The light bears down on me, and hits my head. Just as it strikes me, the scene disappears.

Surrounding me is a forest full of plants. I push myself off the dusty ground and rub my head. I feel a small bump on my head from where the light struck me.

I know that when the simulation ends that the bump will disappear, because this isn't real. I am Divergent. I know this as my mother explained to me what Divergent was. She told me that the Divergent are aware in simulations, and can manipulate them to their will or resist them, or even shut them down. She wasn't very specific about why I should leave Dauntless, or why it's dangerous to be Divergent in Dauntless, but I trust her.

The plants are all unfamiliar and a potential threat to my livelihood. I don't think I should eat any of them, because they should be dangerous. But I get the feeling I'm not going to get out of here unless I eat one of the plants. I approach the one I most think isn't poisonous, and pluck it from its stem. I place it in my mouth and swallow. Almost immediately, there's pain. It's climbing up my throat in a fireball and scraping the sides. I collapse onto the floor, and just as suddenly as it came, the pain diminishes and the forest disappears.

I'm in a room lying on a table, and there is a pale faced man standing above me. "You know what this will do?" he holds up a bracelet that is blinking brightly with a white light. I shake my head.

He clips the bracelet over my wrist and looks at me. He holds up a picture. "You know what this is?" it is a picture of a plant. I get the feeling I know what it is, but I have another, greater feeling that if I tell him I know what it is, I will be killed.

"You must have killed him with it." He says, jerking his head to a body on a different table. I widen my eyes. I swallow, my throat tight and my voice heavy with emotion.

"No." My nose feels a little longer.

"Excuse me?"

"I have no idea what that is." My nose grows again.

"You're lying," he says, his eyes gleaming. "I saw you pick it up just now!"

"I didn't!" The weight of my nose brings my head slamming onto the table.

"You could save many lives by just telling the truth!" He slams his hand down on the table near my head. I have the sudden urge to bite him, but I feel like that would be a bad idea, so instead I stare up at him angrily.

"Fine. I'll tell you the truth. I'm not going to tell you anything." The man roars and lunges for me, but I use my muscles to strain at the ropes restraining me and break free of them. I bolt for the door when a groan behind me sounds. The body that had been lying on the table is moving. It's coming alive.

Now I see the effects of the plant I ate earlier, had this been real. Its face is grotesque: melted and twisted into a weird shape, a slightly orange-tinted hue for a skin color. But the worst part is its blank face. It looks emotionless, and its eyes are glassy, like it can't see. But still it slowly moves forward, to me, as though it might kill me. It wraps its hands around my throat. Its hands are slimy and gross and sweaty. I scream.

I punch it in the face, feeling terrible immediately. If the guy from before was telling the truth, then I killed this person, this person who is now a grotesque manifestation of a…zombie. A living corpse taking revenge. Knowing that I'm harming someone I already killed makes the weight bear me down as fast as death comes. Then the weight of my nose, which has been growing rapidly by the second, brings my entire body to the floor. The last thing I see is the corpse's glassy eyes staring straight into mine, breathing dirty, disgusting breath on me.

Then darkness.

* * *

I wake up, and bolt up from the chair. Penelope looks at me, a troubled look on her face. I'm breathing heavily and there's sweat on my forehead. I wipe my forehead with the back of my hand. Penelope busies herself with detaching the electrodes from my forehead and hers and then she makes sure that the door is shut tightly.

"Gabriella," she says, brushing hair from my damp forehead. "Your results were inconclusive." She must think it's going to come as a shock to me. But it's not. I already know about my Divergence. I just want to know what being Divergent is.

"Meaning?"

"That you have an aptitude for more than one faction," she leans in close. "This is called being…"

"I know about my Divergence," I mumble. "My mother told me,"

Penelope nods. "Of course she would," She says it knowingly, like she personally knows my mother and knows what decisions she would make. And I didn't notice it before, but she said my mother's name bitterly, like it was a word that tasted bad and she wanted rid of it.

"Do you know my mother?" I ask her. Penelope shoots me a furtive look.

"I _knew_ your mother," she says. "I don't know her now," I sit up straighter, and look at her.

"Penelope what do you know about my mother?" She looks at me, and her expression is as hard as brittle.

"We were in Candor together. She promised…" she closes her eyes, and her mouth is tight. She is revealing a history she clearly does not want to reveal. "She promised we would go to the same faction. Not Candor. Neither of us could stand the truth anymore. We were tired of hurting people."

"At least emotionally," I mutter.

"Yes," Penelope agrees bitterly. "Clearly she wasn't done hurting people. Now she's doing something much worse. Hurting physically so if she fatally harms someone, she will have no chance to forgive."

"Why didn't you go to Dauntless, then?"

"Because Amity promises peace. I have no trouble with being peaceful. All I want is to be peaceable. I chose first. Before her. She looked at me when she chose. It wasn't by accident that she dropped her blood into the coals. She held her hand out over them before she even cut her hand." Penelope shakes her head. "I don't believe she's truly Dauntless." She looks at me with disgust. "Look at you."

My throat is suddenly dry. "You won't tell anyone about my Divergence, would you?"

Penelope's eyes shift up and down, assessing me. "No," she says shortly. "I wouldn't do that. I don't hurt people. Telling would hurt you."

"Well…which factions do I have an aptitude for?"

"Dauntless, of course,"

"And?" I prompt.

Penelope takes a deep breath. "I don't think you're going to believe this, but Abnegation."

She was right. I don't believe her. "Abnegation?" I say dubiously, laughing without humor. "C'mon, you can tell me which faction I got an aptitude for…" My voice dies in my throat once I see her expression. She really _isn't _kidding about this. "Oh shit," I mutter. "This is…crap." When I deduced that I'd have to switch to Abnegation, I didn't actually think I'd have an aptitude for them. It was just the safest faction to be in as Divergent.

"Taking the knife suggests Dauntless, I suppose, and saving the little girl is Abnegation." she sighs. "In stage one, you ruled out Amity by not taking the cheese. You ruled out Erudite by not thinking clearly in stage 3, with the forest. If you had calmed down, you would have known that oleander, the plant you ate, is poisonous. But your ability to think in danger clearly hasn't manifested yet. You also ruled out Candor when you refused to tell the truth in stage 4, but when you refused the truth, you also refused to save the lives of hundreds of people above your own life. Not really what an Abnegation would do." Penelope sighs again. "And when the body came back to life, and by your inability to fight back, that also could rule out Dauntless, but it ties close with Abnegation because your brain monitor suggests that the frontal lobe of your brain was enacting selflessness, because you felt bad about hurting someone you already harmed."

I sit in silence for a while. "So it's either Dauntless and Abnegation, or factionless?" Penelope purses her lips. She doesn't answer the question.

"Listen," she says. "Your mother and I were once close. I'll do you a favor. The Abnegation and the Amity are generally on good terms. I'll visit you every so often, but not conspicuously. But there are a few things you have to do.

"First, switch your name. No one will know who you are if you switch your name. And I doubt any Erudite switch to Abnegation. And those that _do_…well, I don't think they'd crave your destruction if they switched to Abnegation. So no one will be able to tell that you're Divergent. And practice lying. The Candor that switch to Abnegation, though I can't even imagine a Candor switching to Abnegation, will be able to tell you're Divergent. Just keep it hidden, alright, and don't attract _any _attention. Don't trust anyone." I nod. It's a Dauntless way, to not trust someone immediately. I'll have to put their trust to the ultimate test before I tell them who I really am.

"Thank you," I say to Penelope, smiling. "This really has been such a help." She looks at me, expressionless as I stand from the chair and brush my hair back with my fingers and wipe my hands on my pants.

As I walk out the door, I hear her say, "Say hello to your mother for me," I shut the door quietly.

* * *

As I walk back to the cafeteria, I run smack dab into an Erudite boy. "Sorry," I say. But he doesn't say anything. He just stares at me. Now that I know I house the quality of selflessness in my body, _no_, in my _mind_, I feel uncomfortable. "Um…" I say, scratching the back of my neck. "Do you need help with something?"

"A Dauntless, asking if someone needs help?" the Erudite boy says. incredulously. He laughs shortly, harshly. Or at least he tries. Instead it comes out melodic and low and…beautiful. Not harsh or short, but full and whole.

"I don't think…" I say. Then I stop myself. We're not supposed to share our results. I can't even think of telling him about my Divergence. He's from Erudite, and knowing that they rarely transfer out of Erudite, I keep my mouth shut like a Venus Fly Trap when it's caught a fly.

"Yes?" he says. "You know, I'm not staying in Erudite. If you're…" he nods. "Then I won't tell anyone." I narrow my eyes slightly.

"Sorry," I say. "I guess I can't help you," But I can't get the image out of my head, of the Erudite boy, and I wonder why I can't seem to push the thought from my mind, of why I've never thought of any boy this way.

And suddenly, I'm hoping he chooses Abnegation tomorrow.

* * *

Kayla and I lean over the chasm railing a little later. She was very hesitant to tell me what faction she got, and eventually I gave up trying to guess what she got. The worst she can get is Amity, and I doubt she'd get that so it's no trouble for her. But clearly I've overestimated her.

Meanwhile, she's trying to coax an answer out of me. I haven't actually told her I'm Divergent, but it's almost like she can tell. She acts strangely around me, and I don't think it's because of the Choosing Ceremony. "C'mon, you can tell me anything. I won't tell anyone, I swear."

I laugh. "Unless you got Candor, I'm not telling you what I got." Then Kayla's expression goes dark and I feel my heart pounding, pounding, I can hear it in my ears. "You're not serious. You got Candor?"

Kayla doesn't look at me.

"Oh my goodness, Kayla." I touch her hand. "It's alright."

"No. I thought I was Dauntless. I really thought it. But when I was in the test, I thought it was real, and if I lied, something bad would happen to me. So I told the truth. I didn't think I would actually value the truth over bravery." she shakes her head. "I guess I'm Candor," her shoulders start shaking and I realize she's crying. I have never, not once in my life, seen Kayla cry. The thing is, Kayla is attached to her family. If she leaves them, which she is now realizing just now, then they will never forgive her.

"Hey," I say softly. "It's okay, Kayla. Your family is typically forgiving. They'll come to visit you. I know they will."

"No," she says, shaking her head. "Not with this," she looks at me and wipes her face with her sleeve. "I think I'm just going to take a nap. It'll clear my mind." she starts to shuffle away. "Oh yeah," she says, swiveling around to face me again. "Have fun in Dauntless," My heart starts to pound again. I can't tell her. I can't tell her. I can't tell her I'm leaving Dauntless. I'm leaving Dauntless for the Abnegation.

But I tell her anyways.

"Kayla," I call. She looks at me. "I'm Divergent. And I'm leaving Dauntless for Abnegation."

In an instant, she is by my side, and she is squeezing me as tightly as she can. "It's going to take great courage to switch out of Dauntless. I love you, Gabs. And be brave."

That is the last that I am ever going to see of her. I can feel it in my bones. I'm going to miss her.

* * *

Today, the day of the Choosing Ceremony, I am going to wear the style of clothing the Abnegation wear. A shirt that covers my cleavage, and baggy pants. I also wear flats. Black flats. I make sure to take out the piercing in my ear. But I keep my stud in.

My mother hugs me tightly and she doesn't say a word. I hug her back, but only tentatively. Now that I know of her history before Dauntless, I know that she betrayed someone she loved. Someone who's going to help me hide my Divergence. I look at her, and I'm not sure if she's my mother anymore.

We jump on the train and she grabs a hold of my arm. Instead of making sure I'm safe every time, she lets me hold half my body out of the car, knowing that this very well may be the last time I ride a train. She lets me savor it.

I run up the stairs as fast as I can, feeling a rush in my body, feeling satisfied with running. I breathe in and out deeply when I've reached the top of the stairs, savoring my heart running a marathon in my chest.

And then it's time for the Ceremony to start.

The person who is officiating the Ceremony this year is the Erudite representative, Norton Matthews. He clears his throat effectively and quiets the room and starts to speak:

"Welcome," he says. "Welcome to the Choosing Ceremony. Welcome to the day we honor the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us that every man has the right to choose his own way in this world. Our dependents are now sixteen. They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and it is now up to them to decide what kind of people they will be. Long before the way of life we have now began, the way of life then was chaotic: war, bloodshed; terrible loss of life; brother against brother, sibling against sibling, mother against daughter, wife against husband, son against father, father against daughter, mother against son, and friend against friends, and neighbor against neighbor. Much so, that our ancestors decided to start a new way of life. One that would give peace, prosperity, and a purpose for life. But they could not agree on only one way to live, for they all blamed human being's faults for different reasons. Those finding a lack of truth formed the Candor. Those finding a lack of peace and kindness became the Amity. Those finding a lack of selflessness were the Abnegation. Those finding a lack of bravery made the Dauntless. And those finding a lack of knowledge created the Erudite. With our factions, we prosper and thrive. Abnegation has fulfilled our need for selfless leaders in government; Candor has provided us with trustworthy and sound leaders in law; Erudite has supplied us with intelligent teachers and researchers; Amity has given us understanding counselors and caretakers; and Dauntless provides us with protection from threats both within and without." Norton's eyes flick up to us, and for a moment I swear he's looking into my eyes and he knows I'm Divergent, he knows, he's going to grab a knife and kill me—

"Edna Zane," he says.

Edna Zane is an Erudite, indicated by her neatly parted hair and blue skirt and glasses. She takes the knife and deftly slices her hand lightly. She lets her blood fall into the water. When the blood drops into the water, it swirls around and turns it a light pink.

The first person to transfer is from Candor. Lorraine Werther is her name, and she lets her blood fall into the Amity bowl. The soil turns an even deeper shade of brown-red.

I hear mutters from the Candor section. Candor and Amity typically don't have a good relationship with each other. Lorraine's Candor family will have the option of visiting Lorraine on Visiting Day, but they will not visit her.

"Gabriella Pooler." he calls. I step forward of the uniform line thinking only of stones. And lit coals, and the sudden weight that falls on me. The Dauntless part in me tells me to stay in Dauntless. But the Divergent part in me, the fire, it tells me I will not be safe.

_Your mother will protect you if you stay_, Dauntless says.

_I need pure safety, not protection_, the fire says.

If I stay in Dauntless, then I want it to be because I am only a true Dauntless. Not just because I don't think I will be used to living like the Abnegation.

The fire, the fire. It ranges within, a campfire and then an inferno, and my body is its fuel. I feel it racing through me, eating away at the weight. There is nothing that can kill me now; I am powerful and invincible and eternal.

I take the knife and cut myself. But not just a light cut. I dig the knife into my palm and scoop out my flesh. To show them that I truly belong in Abnegation. Because I do. I don't belong to Dauntless. I belong to myself.

I hold my hand over the stones and begin to think of how the color gray is so pretty. How it reminds me of waiting for something good to happen. That is what I am now. I am selfless. But I am not a coward.

**A/N: Hello there everyone! Sorry for the long update! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! So I thought that this story, which is about Natalie, would end right after the Choosing Ceremony, when she meets Andrew (I know it says Gabriella, but she changes her name so no one finds out about her Divergence). But now I think I'm going to extend the story a bit when she finishes initiation.**

**Onto Natalie's factions. I initially wanted you guys to vote for which factions she would have an aptitude for, then I thought that it would be too much. Since most of the Divergent have two factions, I think it would be too much to have three since Tris is considered a phenomenon and I wanted her to stay an oddity. So yeah, of course she's Abnegation, and Dauntless of course.**

**Oh also, the paragraph about the fire is from Allegiant. I'm not spoiling anything, but this will become a major part of Natalie's life once she becomes Abnegation. So yeah, happy reading!**

**And yes, that **_**was **_**Andrew she ran into after her aptitude test.**


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